THE REAL WHOLENESS OF US

( I dedicate this blog to my loving wife Eva, my lovely daughters Jessieca, Jessmirah, Jessel and Jessreel and to my good Friendster FD from Paris)

There was this TV commercial how a vitamin supplement can make a man complete. For some reasons the product perhaps can make those who take it feel healthier and better, but not actually make their whole being complete. Definitely (for me) the ad message was purely marketing persuasion but it strokes me hard and left a big question mark in my wits. How can a man be perfect? Is there really a way for a man to be? Is it possible? Egotism, self glorification, and conceit with our masculinity are some of the pretexts why most of us seek ourselves to be complete. A man can be good-looking, strong and tall, rich and famous, can chase women, intelligent and powerful or has a good business mind but still he remains incomplete. Humanity has a mistaken characterization of the modern “macho” men and its requirements and obligations of us are so heavy that we can hardly cope up with it. For this reason I have so many times asked my self what real men supposed to be, and I think . . .

We can be real men by looking with our wives with the right standpoint and to be solicitous to them and not just look at them as people who amuse us and meet our sexual cravings, or supervise the homes we built, or some ones who produced kids for us to be our inheritors. Men are extremely unresponsive; we fail to see their needs, the deep hurts and intense fears of our wives. It is true that most of the times our wives are miserable because they are captives of the responsibilities and characters defined by us. They go around our orbits, they are in second place. Treat our wives right, and be willing to be servants rather than masters. Seek to serve and sit down with them and honestly look to live up to their needs. Our wives are our co-heritors of the blessed gift of life so we must accord them with great respect, concern, fidelity and love.

We can be real men by nurturing and devoting great deal of time and energy with our kids. Although most of us need to work outside our home to raise the family, maintaining a positive nurturing relationship with our kids is a paramount importance. Real men support their kids in all their needs, in their chosen careers, understand their ambitions (even if they contrast from our own) and appreciate and value their achievements. Real men are proud to be identified with their kids and the family as a whole. One day our children will be gone to build homes and raise families of their own and as a result of this investment, our kids will be among the well-adjusted and peaceful husbands, wives, mothers and fathers in the future.

I must admit that I am very much far-off with the definition of what a real man is. I am not ashamed to say it! It is not bad and not to be considered as Achilles' heel to acknowledge my inadequacies and transgressions. In fact there was so many times I fallen short of what my wife, my kids and the other people expect of me. I upset them and did things I shouldn’t suppose to. I was careless and negligent with my promises and often times breached my own credibility. With the last remaining chapters of my life I want to do the right thing because it is the right thing, I want to be the best I can be before it’s over and with God’s help I am trying to work on it.

Imperfection is one of our natural attributes and no matter how hard we try to be complete we would always fall short because the truth is, we can’t really be. Men, just like women are not made perfect and that’s how God wanted us to be. BUT we can make ourselves as closer as we can be to become one. Rather, we can be real men if we become real people to our friends and neighbors, real citizens to our nation, real lovers to the ones we love, real sons to our parents, real husbands to our wives, real fathers to our kids, and real sons of God. These are the real wholeness of us.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

(Romans 12:1-2)