We have been hurt, somebody we counted on let us down; somebody we trusted betrayed us and our trustS; somebody took advantage of our weaknesses. The hurt went deep. There is no delete button for the past. Maaala at maaalala mo, parang video tape sewed in our mind everytime it plays it re- runs, feeling the pain again. We have made our hard decision. Do we want to spend the rest of our lives with pain and abuses we did not deserve in the first place? No ofcourse! Because we have found a way to heal ourselves. It is not one way among many, ito lang ang paraan and God invented it! It did wonders for me (and the rest of the survivors?) I call it FORGIVING. It is the only way to be fair to ourselves. Kapag hindi ka nagpatawad you are giving the person who wallop you once the priviledge of hurting you over and over again in your memory. Sabi ng iba, forgiving is not just fair, "bakit ko patatawarin yung mga taong nakasakit at umabuso sa akin?" If that will be so - you will go on suffering in it, where there is such a simple remedy - forgive. Others would even say that if you forgive you make yourself a doormat for people to walk on. . . mali ito. Forgive those who wronged you, but do not tolerate their wrongdoings. Patawarin natin sila but stop it and do not do it again. Do not let somebody who sinned you to crawls back on her knees and says
she is sorry and begs you to forgive her. Do not wait to forgive, if you do so, you may wait forever and you are stuck with pain. Maiinis at magngingitngit ka lang sa inis at sama ng loob! Why do we have to put our future and happiness in the hands of those who hurt and abused us? If you refuse to forgive until she begs you, you are letting her decide for you when you may be healed of the memory and rotten things she did to you! Forgiving is like a journey, it takes time. So be patient and do not get discourage and we must all remember that the first person who gets the benefit of forgiving is always the person who does the forgiving. Kapag nagpatawad ka sa mga nagkasala sa iyo, you set a prisoner FREE and then you discover that the prisoner you set free is YOU! When we forgive we walk hand in hand with the very GOD who forgives us everything. When we forgive, we heal the hurts we never should have felt in the first place. PATAWARIN NATIN SILANG LAHAT NA NAGKASALA SA ATIN AND GO ON WITH OUR LIVES. . ." If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us in our sins, and to clense us from all unrighteousness."(1 John 1:9)
NO DOUBT about Manny Pacquiao's sincerity to help. Pacquiao is the only figure that can unite us all Filipinos. Kapag laban na niya lahat nagdarasal to win his bout. Tumitigil ang mundo ng Pinoy. Walang tsismis, maluwag ang traffic, tigil ang kriminalidad, tigil din ang bangayan sa pulitika, intriga sa showbiz; lahat magkakasama, mayaman o mahirap, magkagalit o magkaibigan. All waiting and hoping for every victories and pride Manny will bring us. Nanghihinayang lang ako for all the hardship, blood, sweat and tears Pacman has ventured to attain where he is now.
Politics is a dirty game. Hindi kagaya ng boksing yan na lakas, tibay ng katawan at linaw ng pag-iisip ang pinag-uusapan. Sa boxing isa lang ang kalaban mo (me taga-awat pa kayo), when you out-boxed your opponent and win, all rejoices for you, pag ikaw ang natalo, sorry na lang, more practice and better luck next time!(ganuon lang kasimple). Sa political arena ibang klase. Gumawa ka ng mali me magagalit sa iyo, pag gumawa ka ng mabuti merom din! Eh! san ka naman lulugar niyan? And this is my point why I disagree Manny entering politics, sabi ng nakakarami ginagamit lang siya ng mga politiko na may personal na agenda at interest. Politics is a dirty game, no permanent friends but only permanent enemies. Ultimo magkakamag-anak at magkakapatid nag-aaway (minsan nagpapatayan pa nga e!) dahil dito. It's a very complex game mostly played by neferious political players! They say this game is usually played by some people who have no compassion for their counterparts.
Si Pacman never mabugbog sa ibabaw ng ring - siya pa nanggugulpi! Baka pag nasa congress na siya , siya ang mabugbog ng batikos at reklamo( kahit sabihin mo pang tama ginagawa niya) Maraming mabubuting tao na may magandang hangarin sa bayan ang nasira ang buhay, yung iba nadali pa ang buhay dahil sa stress at depression na dulot nito. I hope he should learn from this. . . He may even become greater than the late Gabriel "Flash" Elorde. Pacquiao is just a few steps away from his eternal pedestal. He is a very sincere and God-fearing person. It is true that it is unfair to accuse him of pursuing a "policy of the impossible" but he always believes the possibilities of demanding freedom, peace, justice and alleviating poverty and hunger.
Politics should have been the best game that can be played to satisfy the social and political needs of the people who paid a heavy price to watch them play in the political arena. This is not Manny's Arena. Kung pagtulong talaga ang hangarin niya maraming oras, maraming lugar at maraming paraaan. Politics will only corrupts him. After all , the PACMAN is running. . . let him be the King of his self. Let the people and the God's of fate decide for Manny's destiny. If he can't win his bout in politics , there will always be the boxing ring--- his bastion of pride and glory!
Who can forget RUBEN RAPIZA? Do you remember him? Si Ruben pag dinaldalan ka na hindi ka na tatantanan, it's just listening to a damaged CD that plays over and over again. Ruben used to call me SWEETHEART (yes! but he's 100% not a faggot!) I can't recall how this calling started. Nuong minsan ata kami umatend ng party and we both got drunk and started calling me that way out of jesting. The next morning and from then on SWEETHEART na tawag niya sa akin! Ha!ha!ha!ha! Hinayaan ko na lang na tawagin niya ako ng ganuon because I found it funny and kakaiba.
Minsan we were tasked to go to Dolmar (remember this building in the ortigas area?) We boarded a bus. The bus was almost full but all the passengers were seated. It was good there were two more seats for us. One at the back and the other near the driver. I took the seat behind the driver and ruben sat on the rear. Unknowingly, Ruben paid our fares because the conductor had just gone from the place where he was. Nang papalapit na yung konduktor sa akin para maningil ng pamasahe and I was about to pull my wallet out of my pant's pocket (di ko kasi nakita na nagbayad si Ruben and he did not tell me) Somebody among the passengers shouted at the peak of his tone---- "SWEETHEART HUWAG KA NANG MAGBAYAD! OK NA!!!!" I looked back and saw Ruben gesturing the thumbs-up sign. Everyone looked at me. I Blushed!!!! Ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!ha!
( Pareng Ruben kung nasaan ka man magparamdam ka naman! Namimis ko na mga kalokohan mo!)
Natawa ako when I read Ferdie Gonzales' message he posted at Alumni.net and brought up the issue again (Pukpukan Scandal). . . ang tagal na? May nakakalala pa ba? Dahil kung di mo marecall, you don't belong to IV-1! This happened when Mr. Albea our History teacher gave the class an assignment to draw on our notebook the map of the group islands of Micronesia. Hinampas ng makapal na History notebook (sa ulo! yes sa ulo!) ni Mr. Albea all those who did not do their assignments (pati babae di nakaligtas!)
I could feel the emotions Ferdie expressed against our teacher as he said that all should be accorded with respect regardless of status, age and gender. Mr. Albea confirmed Ferdie's posted bulletin by retorting: " THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS". He said: " Age mellows the strict rule of discipline. If during the time I made use of force to achieve a higher goal, please be reminded that it was made to make you all better persons and not for personal grandeur. . . proof. . .look where are you now?" Luckily hindi napukpok si Ferdie because he did his homework while most of us received that unforgettable, (unforgivable), embarassing note book blow in our heads. POKKKKKK!!!! ang lakas! Ang lutong! Ha!ha!ha!ha! Perhaps Ferdie felt more embarrased to see some of our girls got humiliated infront of the boys. . .Sana puro boys na lang ang napukpok (he he he) If Mr. Albea raised that option, for sure isa ako sa magvovolunteer! ( Tutal wala naman talaga akong assignment eh!) just to spare the girls from the abashment. And what if all the boys did their homework and all the girls did not? Would our teacher continue to bang that infamous canary yellow note book on their skulls? Maybe yes...maybe no... but after that "pukpukan blues" everyone was talking about it. Marami ang natawa, yung iba nainis and almost everybody was asking evryone: " Malakas ba pukpok sa iyo? Masakit ba?" Hahahahahah! It was more of a hilarious experience than a chagrin one! Maybe Mr. Albea had the point ( or he was immature then as a teacher?) because after that occurance wala ng nagyaring pukpukan because from thereon everyone did their chores!
"THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS" - This is a phrase encompassing two beliefs:
1. Morally actions are sometimes necessary to achieve morally right outcomes - the implication is that, good ends justify questionable means.
2. Actions can only be considered morally right or wrong by virtue of the morality of the outcome - Few people will use The Ends Justify The Means to describe their own views; instead the phrase is often used to cast suspicion on the action or motivation of others.
This phrase THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS is closely associated with NICOLLO DI BERNARDO DEI MACHIAVELLI, political philosopher, musician, poet, playwright of the Italian Rennaisance. . . but most expert agree that Machiavelli was not actually advocating such an outlook!
Let us accord out teachers the will of appreciation, consideration and respect due to them. They have their shares (along with most specially with our parents of course!) for bringing us where we are now. True, for most of us thay have really made us better persons and citizens. Mr. Albea was such an excellent and exciting teacher ( so with the rest of MHS mentors) I did enjoy the way he conducted his teachings. Ferdie, on the other hand was (and still) a very good classmate and friend to us and to the other MHSians. Talaga lang mahal ni Ferdie ang mga kababaihan ng Section 1 and I personally admire and respect him for that! Everyone is entitled to his personal point of view.
THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS . . . .sometimes . . . . perhaps . . .
Mabuhay ka Mr. Albea! Mabuhay ka Ferdie!
Have you seen the film " THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA"? This is one of 2006 most talked about movies ( based on Lauren Weisberger's 2003 novel of the same header) that featured Meryl Streep as a savage psychopath who takes great pleasure in terrorizing her staff with steady streams of insults and sadistic head games that would make Manny Pacquiao shrink in pain and distress. Aside from Streep's superlative potrayal of the role, one of the reasons why this Academy Award-nominated comedy-drama film was so successful at the box office was just everyone can relate to having a BOSS FROM HELL.
So what do you do if you are in such situation and the DEVIL wears your BOSS who unreasonably does things such as yells and screams at you, forces you to work overtime, insults and humiliates you personally and infront of others, repeatedly make changes and blames you when things went wrong, brags with her hoaxed credentials, name callings and more? According to Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, USA, an abusive boss is more likely to be woman than man. That is right, babae po! Woman bosses are more abusive than their counterpart.
It is said that a worker's relationship with the boss is almost equal to the relationship with his spouse when it comes to the impact on his well being. Medical research found that workers who felt that their boss treated them fairly were 30% less likely to die from coronary heart disease than those who didn't. Aside from the health consequences of having a bad boss, there is the practical issue of the effect that the abusive superior have on one's job prospects.
I have worked with people who suffered years of abuse at the hands of a BAD BOSS and their entire lives are messed up! They can't sleep, can't work effectively, their relationships are damaged and they feel terribly about themselves, after hearing how incompetent they are everyday and getting yelled at and humiliated they are really in bad shape! A lot of them have serious health problems affecting their work and morale. Yung iba namatay pa nga. . .
Abusive Boss tends not to target one person even if it feels like tha attacks are personal. Usually, target of abusive bosses tend to be HIGH ACHIEVERS, PERFECTIONISTS, WORKAHOLICS. Oftenly bully bosses try to mask their own insecurities and mistakes by striking out ( nagtatago sila sa ulap ng kanilang kasalanan at kahinaan)! Bad bosses come in many flavors and that employees should explore the nature of abuses that may be occuring. If your boss insults you and puts you down, try to reason out professionally and express your rights. Calling you "BULLSHIT" , "MORON" , or an "IDIOT" would never solve the problem. If your boss is bad-mouthing you , you can confront her directly and if she's defaming you, aba bawal yun! Taunting and insulting your face in a private office at work, your feeling severely hurt and may become ill as a result - - - (if the symptoms persist ika nga) consult a doctor and a lawyer as well (ha!ha!ha!) That's the best you can do if the tounge-slashing is too much and turned out to be inapproppriate, unjustified and unbearable. Documenting your boss' bad behavior is important. Your written records can testify how severe the situation is. Just incase you decide to take legal actions down the line, you may need these information. It is best to record all the rotten things your boss did to you as soon as possible so they are fresh in your mind. Dont miss the idea of taking the bull by the horns. Mas madali daw disiplinahin ang nagwawalang toro kung sa sungay mo susunggaban! Ha!ha!ha!ha!
No one is perfect. Not even bosses. But if your boss is abusing you, malaking problema yan! This problem takes on greater urgency. If the abuse starts to make you feel bad and the bullying has had prolonged impact on your health or your life outside of your work aba'y mag-isip-isip ka na! It's time to get out, lalo na when you feel that your confidence or your usual exemplary performance has been undermined! In general you really feel deteriorated with you bad boss. But if quitting cant be you option to address this problem, hanggang kailang mo kaya kakayanin ang masamang ugali ng amo mo and get abused forever? I understand older workers can't just simply walk away from their job they really hate. It is culturally accepted reason sa Pinas lalo na sa mga datihan at matagal ng empleyado. They are trapped by tuition fees, bayad sa renta ng bahay, kuryente, tubig at telepono and other everyday expenses that keep them working with their bad bosses. Idagdag mo pa yung hirap ng paghahanap ng trabaho lalo na kung datan ka na! They may reason out that finding a new job may be harder than it would be for someone younger, in this case they may be right, but they can still protect themselves. Maraming trabaho po diyan! Maniwala ka at tulungan mo ang sarili mo dahil mas marami ka pang magagawang mas maganda sa buhay mo than to stay and serve an evil employer! As I have said, target of bad bosses tend to be those EXCELLENT, EFFICIENT & EFFECTIVE workers of the company and YOU are one!
CONTROL YOUR DESTINY ( manalig ka at maniwala sa kakayanan mo!) You may want to consider leaving the job off your resume all together. Even after you leave your nightmare boss you still have to explain why you left to potential new employer, One way to gracefully side step the issue is to say: MY BOSS AND I HAD A LONG STANDING DISAGREEMENT OVER THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF GETTING THINGS DONE ( anyways they wil never know naman kung gaano talaga kawanghiya ang boss mo, unless you tell them so!) The most important thing to remember with abusive boss is not to take the insults to heart ( naku mahirap atang gawin ito a?) but to make it as challenge to become a better person and prove your worth. Get out and move on. This is the most professional way to resolve it.
Employees leave their bosses not the company. If the abuses are too much -- you may want to head out of the door, change yourself, and throw away (worthless) things in your life. Huwag mong hayaang insultuhin ka ng amo mo habang buhay ( ano na lang ang sasabihin ng asawa mo at mga anak mo sa yo? Maipagmamalaki ka pa kaya nila?) You can be a better person inspite of all the miseries your bad boss had done to you. Just convert these rotten things into source of inspirations, learning and enjoyment! Just hope that your next boss would not be just as bad or worse! If that would be the case --- work on your own and be the KING of yourself!
If you are a BAD BOSS FROM HELL let this serve as a wake up call.
" I urge then, first of all , that requests, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving He made for everyone - for KINGS and all those in AUTHORITY, that we may live peacefully and quiet lives in all GODLINESS and HOLINESS."
( I Timothy 2:-1-2)
We have been hurt, somebody we counted on let us down; somebody we trusted betrayed us and our trustS; somebody took advantage of our weaknesses. The hurt went deep. There is no delete button for the past. Maaala at maaalala mo, parang video tape sewed in our mind everytime it plays it re- runs, feeling the pain again.
